A project manager, hardware engineer and software engineer were in a car heading down a hill when the brakes failed. The driver managed to get it stopped by using the gears and a convenient dirt track. » read more »

In my experience, it is a very bad sign when supposedly intelligent people clearly demonstrate that a) they have no sense of humor, and b) they cannot laugh at themselves.

First, check out this video. Now, have a look at this summary of Richard Dawkins' reaction to the video. Recall that this guy is supposed to be an "intellectual."

Sorry, Dick, but you don't get it, and we do. Too funny.

I wish I knew to whom I should give credit for this saying--long a favorite of mine--but I just don't remember from whence I learned it. Nevertheless, many a truth is spoken in jest:

What's the difference between a friend and a good friend? A friend will help you move, no questions asked. A good friend will help you move a body, no questions asked.

So how many friends do you really have? And how many good friends? Or more poignantly, are you a friend to many? Are you a good friend to any?

Here's something new your dog could do.

http://ttrium.com/screenclean....

BIRTH ORDER OF CHILDREN
1st baby: You begin wearing maternity clothes as soon as
your OB/GYN confirms your pregnancy.
2nd baby: You wear your regular clothes for as long as possible.
3rd baby: Your maternity clothes ARE your regular clothes.

Preparing for the Birth
1st baby: You practice your breathing religiously.
2nd baby: You don't bother because you remember that last
time, breathing didn't do a thing.
3rd baby: You ask for an epidural in your eighth month. » read more »

All believers would do well to study -- not just read, but absorb -- this entertaining dialogue between Vox Day and a science-loving atheist. It contains much ammunition in the event of a discussion with an avowed rational materialist.

Helga has a Remington model 870 pump-action shotgun with a five-round magazine, fully loaded. She expends two rounds defending herself from an aggressive polar bear she encountered on her way home from school. How many more rounds can she fire before she must reload?

This word problem is not one likely to be encountered by American schoolchildren. (For that matter, American schoolchildren may never see a word problem in what passes for curriculum these days... but that is another subject.) But it would be second nature for the students described in this article. » read more »

FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

1. A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

2. A will is a dead giveaway.

3. Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

4. A backward poet writes inverse.

5. In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count
that votes.

6. A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

7. If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

8. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

9. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

10. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds. » read more »

We all have our disagreements with President Bush. Immigration, U.S.
Attorney firings, Iraq, Darfur, etc. are all hot topics these days. The
following "speech" was written yesterday by an ordinary Maineiac. While
satirical in nature, all satire must have a basis in fact to be effective.
An excellent piece by a person who does not write for a living. Sent
with the author's permission.

The speech George W. Bush SHOULD give:

Normally, I start these things out by saying "My Fellow Americans." Not
doing it this time. If the polls are any indication, I don't know
who more than half of you are anymore. I do know something terrible » read more »

Doug Giles has compiled a list of ten commandments for husbands. Highly recommended for men who are betrothed, or thinking about entering a matrimonial relationship. You can read Giles' epistle here, or you can watch Giles recite the commandments in a cheesy, but nonetheless entertaining, video here.