"I am the Vine"
Thoughts on mortality
Submitted by Charla on Tue, 2008-02-12 01:02.
My great aunt passed away today. She had been ill and this was pretty much expected, so it was a matter of time before I got the call.
We were not close. But she was my grandmother's sister. And I was very close to my grandmother. Gama (a name I gave my grandmother later in my life) passed away the quarter before I graduated college. She gave me an extra week of spring break doing that. haha
Gama died before I got married and had kids. So she never got to meet her great-grandchildren. But my great aunt did. I have actually seen Aunt Geri a few times in the last 5 years. She met my son and saw me pregnant with my first daughter in 2003. Most recently she met my second daughter Nov. 2006. So it was a small comfort to know that my Gama's sister at least had the chance to meet her great-grandkids. Aunt Geri was happy to get our photocards and such.
Now she's gone and I'm not terribly sad but I am sad. She was the last of Gama's siblings. I sit here and stare at the photo of me and Gama taken back what, 17 years ago. She's smiling at me so I know she's ok. She believed in Jesus. I think my aunt did too. So I can only hope that they are together again, reuniting.
I know of the descriptions in the Bible that say we'll be worshipping our God forever and ever when it's time for our mortal bodies to pass away. But I wonder and hope that when it's time that He'll let us be greeted and welcomed in by those in our family who have gone before us.
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You are quite welcome to
Submitted by Wayne on Tue, 2008-02-12 09:06.
You are quite welcome to post your thoughts here. Your vulnerable honesty will be an inspiration to many. Besides, it's your blog.
As for debt, don't stress too much. There's only one main passage specifically about it, and today's common debt to banks is "iffy" in its application, stewardship notwithstanding. Debt is merely now, whereas homeschooling is often generational. (I'm not condoning debt, but merely putting it into perspective.)
As they are able to understand, show your kids all of you, the parts of which you are rightfully proud (e.g., your obedience to your Father) and even the rest. We are not perfect, yet the Lord loves us and uses us for His wonderful purposes anyway--a great lesson for anyone.
eternal worship
Submitted by Wayne on Tue, 2008-02-12 02:31.
Worship is not just kneeling, praising, adoring, and praying, but also loving each other, service, and joy. I'm sure such familial greeting and celebration will occur as this will be worship, too.
Dashes
One of my favorite songs is by Sara Groves called "Generations." The main verse of the song says "Generations will reap what I sow... I could pass on a curse or a blessing, to those I will never know."
I am ever aware that what I do with and to my kids will one day affect how they may be and how they live. I struggle daily with the dilemma of whether it's better to live in debt and homeschool or get out of debt by working full-time and then homeschool. But that's another topic.
Tonight thinking about death and those left behind, I wonder. I wonder what will my kids remember about me when I am gone. Will they remember when I was happy, a mom who was a prayer warrior, will they know I did everything I could for them? Will they remember a mom who loved God and worshipped unashamed? Or will they remember a mom who was angry and often depressed, burdened by circumstances? I fear it will be the latter. I wish it were the former but I'm embarrassed to say that I'm just not there.
My friend said tonight on the phone that life isn't about the dates on the marker, it's the dash in between. How quaint.
Maybe this isn't the correct forum to be posting these thoughts. I guess I should go create a myspace page or something.