True, but funny headlines. (Warning: content may not be suitable for some children.)

CRACK FOUND ON GOVERNOR'S DAUGHTER

SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS

POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS

IRAQ HEAD SEEKS ARMS

IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS?

PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE

PANDA MATING FAILS, VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS

MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT

WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE

IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST AWHILE [sic]

COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES

ENFIELD (LONDON) COUPLE SLAIN, POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE

RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGES

MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGES

NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP

ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT

KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS

CHEF THROWS HIS HEART INTO HELPING FEED NEEDY

LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF

HOSPITALS ARE SUED BY 7 FOOT DOCTORS

TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY, HUNDREDS DEAD