The Word says the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God and proceeds to name specific examples of just who the wicked are. In short, the wicked are those who practice sin without repentance. Salvation is easy: just place your faith in the Savior. (There are several ingredients to this that I won't go into here.) How easy is it to hang onto that salvation once received?

What if a thief repents, presumably receives salvation, then backslides? Those in the "once saved, always saved" camp would say his salvation was not genuine, and so his backsliding was still within his impenitent character. The opposite and just as common view is that any yet-to-be-repented sin costs a man his salvation until he again repents and accepts forgiveness. These are over simplifications, but reasonably reflect commonly held perspectives.

Not surprisingly, the truth is somewhere between these extremes and ultimately far simpler to grasp. Those with children will likely understand better than those without kids or with only young children. As children grow into young adulthood (the age varies individually, but is commonly around 12-17 or so), they often choose to change the nature of their relationships with their parents. Some children choose to effectively leave their parents (even if physically present) by abandoning their inherited values, diametrically opposing their parents' beliefs, emotionally withdrawing, rebelling, or some other such drastic abandonment of the relationship. In a very real sense, these children are no longer in a familial relationship--by their own choice.

On the other hand, some children choose to remain in relationship with their parents even if they still experience difficulties in maturation, accompanied by frequent or repeated sins against their parents. These children have in no way abandoned the relationship, even if they are still very far from perfect. They may make mistakes, even large ones. They may even rebel against their parents in one way or another; but even amidst conflict, they never question their relationship with their parents. Deep down, they know they are loved, and they also love their folks.

The former child--the one who has in some fashion left relationship with his parents--can often appear to be better behaved than the latter--the one who remains in relationship. A child may be emotionally cold to his parents even while his behavior is perfect; or a child may deeply love his parents even while his behavior is abhorrent. Discerning the difference is not necessarily easy for someone who is not in the family. The matter is a condition of the heart. However, for those children and parents, there is little doubt as to which is in relationship and which is not.

For those of us who have raised children through this age range and have experienced the waxing and waning of our relationships with our children, we understand this all too well. So it is for us and our heavenly Father. It can be terribly difficult to judge others' salvation without extensive experience with them--sharing lives to some degree. To be sure, there are signs of a relationship with the Lord (or not). A life lived for sin versus a life lived for righteousness can be pretty evident. On the other hand, there can be "good" people who are not in relationship with their Father at all, and there can be believers who deeply love their Father but struggle so much with obedience.

As with many things, trying to make a cut-and-dry doctrine for salvation and sin by excluding the subjective component will necessarily fall far short of truth. And woe to those who would use such a flawed doctrine to judge others. Our Lord is a living God. He does not set up a bunch of objective rules, set the world a-spinnin', and then leave us to it. He lives in relationship with us each and every day--as much as we allow.