Courtship Principles

1. Courtship should wait until one is prepared for marriage.
2. I will not consider any person for courtship unless he or she meets the spritual standards (for him; for her) I have established together with my parents.
3. My parents must approve.
4. I will only court a person whom I find personally interesting and attractive.

Courtship Process

1. Casual friendship.
• Make the acquaintance.
• Become friends. No romantic thoughts, words, or deeds. It's about the other person, not you.
2. Deeper friendship.
• Become good friends. It's still not about you, but about meeting the needs of the other person. No dating; and certainly no one-on-one outings. Invite each other into your daily lives: work, church, groups. Don't escape life artificially by dating. No romantic thoughts, words, or deeds.
• Pray for each other.
• Ready for courtship?
• Are you both born-again followers of Jesus?
• Are you each ready to consider marriage (see principles above)?
• Have all your family and friends gotten to know your intended? Have they given their nod of approval?
• Do you feel God's peace??
• If the answers to all of the above are yes, then continue into courtship.
3. Courtship.
• He asks her for permission to court her. He offers to be tested.
• He asks her parents for permission to court their daughter. He offers to be tested by them.
• He sets out to win her heart.
• Deepen the relationship. Avoid tempting situations which would compromise your purity.
• Double date with parents. Go out in groups, but coupling is okay. Time alone together is okay, if there's no sexual temptation present. Continue to avoid escaping life, but join each other's life.
• Discuss hopes, dreams, plans, values, beliefs, feelings, philosophies.
• Understand the differences between men and women.
• Invest in each other: prayers, calls, letters, flowers, etc.
• Avoid dating; it's about learning and communicating.
• Pray for and with each other.
4. Engagement.
• If both are confident about begin ready for marriage, he "pops" the question. This should be no surprise to either at this point.
• Reserve passion for marriage.
• Focus on each other's soul.
• Pray with each other.
5. Marriage.
• This is a lasting commitment for the rest of your lives.
• Continue to learn about each other.
• It's still about meeting the other's needs.
• It's not 50/50. Each gives 100% to the other.
• Stay within Biblical roles.
• Pray together.